I love this poster of the late running legend Steve Prefontaine. This man had guts; read the biography Pre and you'll see what I mean.
Lately I've been wondering just how much guts I have. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I feel as though I'm just going through the motions, and not really tackling each area with my full effort. I don't know why; maybe on some level I'm just lazy, unmotivated, indifferent or something.
Let's see...I am running out of time to finish my dissertation by mid-September. I am in poor physical shape despite an impending military deployment to Iraq in October. My marriage needs work. I haven't stayed in contact with friends very well. I haven't been reading God's word enough. Little projects around the house remain unfinished. Paperwork such as power of attorney for Leslie needs to be accomplished before I deploy. You know, I could easily get overwhelmed right now.
The question that keeps coming to mind is, "You got the guts for all this Bill?"
I am an extremely blessed man. I have the time to finish my dissertation because I have no other military duties right now. I have the time to exercise and get in shape; in fact, I have been working out with Brad Tillery of BCSfitness.com. The problem is my diet is lousy enough to counteract any workouts I do. I have the time to work on my marriage...to do little projects around the house...to spend time with my kids and complete any pre-deployment paperwork. But I am not doing these things to the degree I need to. Mid-September is coming fast and I could very well get caught with my dissertation incomplete...and miss the cutoff date for graduation in December. Boy, the Air Force would not be happy with that situation!
I look in the mirror and do not like what I see. I do not feel good about myself at all. Why is this? For crying out loud...I am a military officer; a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. I am supposed to be disciplined, motivated, and efficient! I am in a funk. I need to find the guts to break out of this funk and get things done! I started finding some guts last weekend at the Men's Camping Trip to Inks Lake State Park. I jumped off a 50-ft rock into the lake; wow, the water was a scary-looking sight from the top of that rock! But I jumped...I actually jumped! And it felt good when I hit that water. I swam away with a big grin on my face. I did it; I overcame my fear by summoning the guts to climb the rock and to jump. I need that ability again.
Guts...do I have the guts to do what I know I need to do? Or will I fail the Air Force, my family, and myself? Will I deploy to Iraq with a completed dissertation, much-improved physical conditioning, a stronger marriage, and my affairs in order? Or will I not? I am inspired by my friend Andrew and his recent conquering of the physical feat of flipping a massive tractor tire 10 times in under 3 minutes. Andrew has guts...he would not give up until he won his battle with the tire! I want what Andrew has...Guts to keep fighting until victory is realized!
Steve Prefontaine once said, "I try to make every race come down to a pure guts race; if that happens, I am the only one who can win it." Prefontaine was a man with guts. I have friends around me with guts. C'mon Bill...get some guts!
